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The power of listening to your children
Millennium Parenting
Listening- a missing element of social media?
'If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together. African Proverb
Barriers to therapy -Q & A- What stops us from accessing talking therapies?

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The power of listening to your children







Listening well is a skill that takes some time to practice and master.  To be able to listen well to your child consider the following. This will usually reduce any behavioural issues, confusion and most of all strengthen the bond between you both. 

If you can, forget your own concerns, stop what you are doing for the time being and concentrate on what they are saying, watch body language for extra clues. Listen for content and feeling, what is it they are trying to tell you? How are they feeling?

Millennium Parenting

Sharing my thoughts with you today about parenting in the millennium. Parenting has changed so much over the years, thinking of myself being parented as a child, to parenting my eldest and youngest child.
I strongly believe that the changes are a really good thing, smacking children and eliminating punitive punishments are some of the best things to happen over the past 20 years.

Reasons why? Let me share a few examples, punitive punishment that are intended to make a child feel guilty, ashamed and embarrassed of his actions is simply not going to help their confidence or the relationship with a parent strong.

Listening- a missing element of social media?

I think social media is a wonderful tool to share information but i have been wondering about the missing element 'Listening'. 

Scrolling through twitter or facebook, there is so much information to read, so much on mental health and well being, also there are people like me posting blogs on well being.

If you will kindly indulge me with your thoughts, i would love to listen to you on social media. 

What helps you cope with being human and living in todays world?
What helps you if you feel depressed or anxious ?

'If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together. African Proverb

Have you ever felt lonely, disconnected, isolated? Most of us will experience loneliness in some form or another at some point of our life.

Thoughts such as, 'no one cares' and 'no one understands me' often arise at these times

Today rather than focus on the problems of loneliness, let us focus on how you can feel more connected to others.

Deeper, meaningful relationships help us to feel a strong connection with people. Relationships that are nurtured, equal and loving offer us a sense of comfort and well being.

Barriers to therapy -Q & A- What stops us from accessing talking therapies?

What might stop you from accessing talking therapies?

This is what some people say and my thoughts and responses based on my experiences so far.

Talking to someone will not change the past.
We are not able to change the past, we can feel differently about what happened in the past and learn to let go of being stuck in the past.

I am a man, I don't talk about my feelings.
For some men it is difficult to overcome the belief that men don't talk about their feelings. Not all of course, there are some men who are very expressive.

Were you bullied as a child?

In this mini blog I highlight the types and the impact of bullying and how and where you can get help.

Bullying is an issues that affects so many children and has long lasting affects on adults... have you ever been bullied for long periods?

If you have you may still find that you hear the names in your head that the bullies called you. Often people find it hard to shake the name calling, the emotional messages from bullies. Bullies can of course may be parents or siblings, along with peers at school or in other environments.

The little things, are the big things in life......

Having recently recorded an interview with two fabulous women who are raising money for the Doncaster Cancer Dectection Trust, both also having battled cancer themselves. 
My thoughts to share with you, are around the little things in life...you know the things that really count, they really aren't the little things.  they are the big things. Things that really matter.

Whether that is the morning sunrise, the smell of fresh bed sheets or the warmth of your childs hand in yours.

The moments of sheer happiness or sadness that touch you deep within, births and deaths, moments of joy, moments that cause us to reach into the soul and find that place that can become hidden day to day in all the hustle and bustle of life.

Mini Blogs- Childrens Counselling - When might my child need counselling?

Childrens counselling can be useful for many difficulties or challenges they may be facing and struggling with. Bereavement. loss, parents separating, self esteem and confidence.

Whatever the reason children can benefit long term from some one to one therapeutic work. Counselling can help release feelings, understand emotions and help the child to regulate their emotions. Behavioural issues can be worked through in counselling. If you child is feeling angry having a safe space to express this anger can help them to feel calmer and less aggressive.

I feel lost without my children ...Empty nest syndrome

I am sure if you are reading this and you have small children then you may find it hard to understand how parents may feel this way. However, lots of parents do and will.

Many parents feel a deep sense of loss and feeling literally 'lost' not knowing what to do when children leave the home to live somewhere else or go to university. 
 
Like any loss, the stages of grief may hit home, depression, being the most common feeling, mostly because parents (being one myself and having experienced this) feel a sadness.

Managing conflict for Separated Parents

Many parents who separate because they don't want to be in conflict anymore, usually find that they end up in more conflict over the children. If you are a separated parent reading this, try to focus on your own behaviour, how you can help ease the conflict and the impact on your child.

Why does the conflict arise?
Separated parents actually take some time to separate beyond the actual physical separation. Emotionally we sometimes stay attached, this can take a while to move on if you were the one that did not want the relationship to dissolve.