Below are some questions that can help heal past parenting relationship issues and understand yourself as a parent. It helps to ask these questions without judging or blame, this is about understanding, then being able to take action to improve relationships, our own well being and parenting.
Write down five words which describes what you feel towards your parents or did do?
Did you want something from them that you didn't receive, what was this? What difference would this have made to your relationship?
Dilemmas in life
Are you at a crossroads? Not sure which way to go. For some of us decision making is incredibly challenging. This becomes a dilemma.
Small day to day decisions might be......What clothes to wear? Whether to order the fish or the meat dish? What route to take..even these decisions or choices can feel like mountains for some of us.
Life changing decisions may be........Do i change my career and take the new job? Shall i move somewhere else, ?Do i stay in this relationship or do i leave?
You may here a great deal from mental health and emotional well being services that support networks are vital in keeping well. The NHS definitely recommend that we need a good support circle to maintain our well being.
In my experiences of working with others professionally and my own personally, i hear and see that having people who are supportive around us helps us cope with the challenges and slumps in life.
People who feel they have people to talk to often will cope much better than if we don't.
With the new year approaching, I felt the welcome urge to write a new blog. I haven't wrote for a while, writing is one of my passions, sometimes I loose connection with passions, I am determined to make space for the writing more often.
Which leads me onto the fabulous New Year, what does this look like for you? First of all, i think it is helpful before we do this to spend some valuable time reflecting on this year, take a look back and process what has been your happiest, saddest and most enjoyable moments.
The you tube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQKjMvG7BLU, now albeit from a after shave advert, the title of my blog, I am not going to be who I am expected to be any more to me once echoed in my mind once when I felt I had enough of trying, I felt the need to share this with others.
Having experiences of my own related to trying to live up to others expectations ( or my perception of them) also my experiences of working with others who feel like they are a failure and that they are letting others or themselves down.
In my journey of counselling we are taught to questions ourselves and what we do. What does counselling actually do?
I will answer this question from my own beliefs, training, values and perspectives.
First of all, what counselling does not provide a quick fix for problems . Counselling is not about telling you what to do or how to do it. As a counsellor my role is not to judge you or situations you are in. My role is not to give you the answers but for you to find the answers that you have within you.
Talking to a trained counselling professional is different from having a chat with a friend or a family.
Counsellors are highly trained professionals in working with others therapeutically to enable the person to work through challenging times.
My counselling training lasted over 10 years and i continue to update my learning in different aspects to increase my skills and widen my knowledge. Also keeping up to date with the changes in policies and the government.
It takes a great deal of work and commitment in this profession to maintain good standards of work.
For Separated Parents
I would first like to acknowledge that I write from a separated
parent perspective and I am supportive and compassionate to all single parents,
regardless of race, gender or age etc.
I think single parents receive some bad press, however, single
or together is not the issue here. How we relate to one another is. Relationships
being the key to having a happier life.
Secondly, I’m sure you will agree with me, being a separated
parent can be incredibly tough. We may feel like we are up and down
emotionally, not sure how to feel.
cannot buy life’
Christmas can be an incredibly joyous time for some, or an
incredibly difficult, sad or stressful time for others. It is good to consider
what stresses we can not avoid and ones we place on ourselves that could be
avoided. Such as spending too much money or over committing to please everyone.
I have a series of blogs of one woman's journey of her emotional attachment with food. The woman would like to remain anonymous. For this purpose I will refer to her with a pseudonym, Anna.
Chapter 1. Anna wrote.
I have a problem with food, do you?
It is not in the eating but refraining from doing so.
When food is used to "fix a hole'', that maybe is caused by the loss of a loved, it can turn evil.
I am not thinking of how unhealthy my relationship is when stufffing my face with food!