In my journey of counselling we are taught to questions ourselves and what we do. What does counselling actually do?
I will answer this question from my own beliefs, training, values and perspectives.
First of all, what counselling does not provide a quick fix for problems . Counselling is not about telling you what to do or how to do it. As a counsellor my role is not to judge you or situations you are in. My role is not to give you the answers but for you to find the answers that you have within you.
Friends and family may often give you advice, do you take it?
Advice giving is useful at practical times, for e.g such as managing debt, but in the counselling arena, this does not help you become more self assured and trust in your self.
Often the biggest conflict we have is with ourselves. We may not be supporting our own self, rejecting who we are. We may not feel good enough, strong enough, clever enough. People will say just be positive or get a grip. If only it were that easy. Like having a physical illness, when we are emotionally raw we need time and care to heal. This does not happen overnight, Patience is a virtue. Belief and trust that in time you will recover, helps the process. This can at times can be challenging in the depth of despair. We will have thoughts like..
No one cares
No one understands
What is the point?
Why me ?
These are completely normal and natural thoughts but can debilitate us and isolate us from others.
Counselling is a place where you can be understood and that these thoughts and feelings can be expressed and accepted.
We may feel embarrassed that we are having these thoughts, this blocks our way to seeking help and moving forward.
Counsellors offer the space and time to be there for you, they have the skills , knowledge and training to help you understand and accept your feelings and thoughts without judging your self or others.
Counsellors can support you to be able become more conscious of the unconscious. We often are too close to the situation. or we may not realise how we ourselves are playing an important role.
'Be the driver, not the driven'.
Here are a few links to helping you understand more about the areas discussed today.
to be continued..................